Everybody Is A Student…Of Some Sort…
Luzee has a homework folder. When he comes home from school we remove his homework sheets and when he’s done doing them, they go right back into the folder. Luzee saw me leafing through ‘my’ folder that I got from my nutritionist to help me lose weight. Luzee looked at it and asked, “That’s Mommy’s homework?”
Oh, you better believe that’s Mommy’s homework!
Diplomacy At Its Best
We were having an animated conversation at the Shabbos table about Hilchos Ribbis. It involved banks, loans, interest payments, etc. After a coupla’ minutes I realized that this was all going above Moishey’s head and I winked to my husband and teenagers that we need to change the topic to something more Moishey-friendly. They nodded, but the conversation continued for a few more minutes. Suddenly Moishey interjected, “Somebody is becoming very tired from this whole confusing conversation here.” I asked, “Is that somebody YOU?” to which he cocked his head and sheepishly replied, “Le’choyreh…”
Time Management
Moishey was waiting to go shopping with his brother. Brother said, “I’ll go with you in three minutes.” Moishey asked me, “Do you think that is going to be a long 3 minutes or a short one?”
Getting It Right!
We were driving home in the car and my husband was preparing six-year-old Meir for what was going to happen when we get home. He said, “We are going to have supper and then you are going to get a haircut and then you will go to sleep”. Meir answered, “Totty, you’re mixed up”. We asked, “Why?” Meir answered, “After I get a haircut I have to take a shower; you forgot?”
Accuracy in Numbers
Moishey was gone for hours once again, on one of his escapades. When he came home my husband asked him, ‘Nu Moishey, were you roaming around the whole town again?” to which Moishey replied, “No, only half the town this time.”
Holy Goy!
During Pesach, 6-year-old Bentzy asked for a game, but was told that it was ‘sold to the goy’. So he asked for another game but received the same response. Frustrated, he decided to try something else and requested an Alef Binu. Upon receiving the same answer for the third time, he asked incredulously, “An Alef Binu for a goy?!”
Holy Guy!
Question: Moishey, do you have a smartphone?
Moishey: Me, a smartphone?? Chas veshulem a smartphone! Never! I only have an iphone.”
Holy Mom!
Moishey wears a tracking device (he is not aware of its function) so that we don’t lose our minds when he disappears for hours. One day he told my husband, “Mommy always knows where I am; she has ruach hakodesh.”
Holy Day!
Moishey has his self-designated place on our sofa where he plops down every Motzei Shabbos and turns into a couch potato.
He recently had hernia surgery. When he came home from the hospital, he planted himself on the sofa on ‘his’ spot. My husband asked him, “Moishey, it’s Motzei Shabbos now?”. He answered, “No; it’s Motzei Yom Kippur; I was fasting today (because of the surgery).”
Virtuous Grease
Nine-year-old Luzee was watching me bake challah this morning. I prepare the oil and add it separately toward the end of kneading. The dough ingredients were being mixed and Luzee saw the oil sitting on the counter. “Mommy?” he asked. “Yes, Luzee”, I answered. “The oil is waiting so patiently!” he exclaimed.
Royal Expression
Seven-year-old Chesky did something cute and I was carrying on with an exuberant reaction. Chesky said, “Mommy, you’re such a drama queen!”
613 Plus 1
I gave my 10-year-old Blime a huge juicy kiss this morning. When I was done she said, “Thank you!” She paused, then said, “You know? A kiss is a big mitzvah!”
Social Skills Above All
Note from Shloimy’s (age 4) teacher: As we were leaving the classroom, Shloimy slapped his forehead and said, “Oish, eech hub fargessen! Eech darf zuggen by-by far Meilech!” (Oish! I forgot! I need to say good-by to Meilech!)
Thou Shalt Not…
My husband kissed Moishey on his cheek. Moishey immediately pointed to his other cheek and said, “Now this side’s jealous.”