Dear Sarah Sander:
I enjoyed your latest magazine very much, especially the picture of your Bar Mitzvah son. You surely have to thank Hashem that he has a mild degree of Down syndrome.

I am writing to you in reference to Rabbi Patkin`s request.

I am the mother of a thirteen-year-old son with developmental delays. The experience that I got from this kind of parenting, and my opinion, is as follows: Just like my neighbor can bake four cakes in one day and I can`t, every situation is different.

Just because I was able to keep my son home for thirteen years and my neighbor who has a ten-year-old son who talks more than my son, and is much easier behaviorally, has put her son into a group home, doesn`t mean she`s wrong. (Editor`s Note: Is that the neighbor who is baking four cakes a day? Perhaps she should stop baking and tend to more important issues in life...Ouch! I`m sorry; I know that hurt.)

Raising a special child isn`t the world`s easiest thing. Having a more difficult special child or one that isn`t so cute is even harder. Also, the father, siblings, mother, and the neighborhood/community have to adjust to this, which doesn`t always work.

Even though I kept my son home, I still feel that some people can`t cope and have to do otherwise.

ARTICLE ID # 2557