Oh My Downy! #6
My 3-year-old (typical child) is sitting on the floor with his legs folded. Eleven-year-old Avrumi with DS tells me “Look at him! He’s sitting like a ‘dee-oh-double U-en-why!”
Turning The Tables #4
8-year-old Blime, with DS, has a new habit; she asks me to prepare her food and after I do, she tells me she’s not hungry. This past Shabbos during the meal she did it several times. I became annoyed and told her before she asks for anything else she should really think whether she is hungry or not. Blime didn’t like it that I was annoyed, put her hand on her head and said, “Okay, I need some space. I’m getting a headache!”
School for Down Syndrome #5
My children took Dovid to school one day.
My 4-year-old son, Yehuda, saw that all the students in the school have Down syndrome.
He commented: “Oh, this is the school where Dovid learns how to act with Down syndrome!”
Surala was sticking her finger in her ear, so her older brother asked her why she was doing it. She replied, “Oh, it’s a Sanzer minhag.”
Shimmy threw a plastic cup in the garbage can but it fell on the floor instead. When he returned to the table his father asked him whether he threw it into the can. Shimmy answered, “Almost.”
Big Maven Bigmouth #3
Bina, age 7, approached her big sister’s friend, “Mirel, your eyebrows are scary; you need to go for electrolysis.”
Erev Yom Tov #12
When Dovid woke up this morning he said that today is Erev.
“Erev what?’’ I asked him.
“Erev Birthday!” (tomorrow is his birthday).
For The Love of Learning Torah #8
Gershon – Can we learn chumash?
Me – I could learn Chumash with you.
Gershon – But not like parsha. Like real chumash. (chanting) Bereishis, en mumble jumble (I guess what he hears when his siblings do chumash teitch)
Me – OK, but when I say what the chumash means I am going to say it in English, not in Yiddish. So we are going to say (chanting) Bereishis, In the beginning. Can you say that?
Gershon – (chanting) Bereishis, in the beginning. (gets excited and a little carried away) Then we are going to learn more and more Chumash and more parshios until we do the whole thing!! (chanting) Devorim, In the End….
Let the Enemies Go On A Diet… #16
Much to my chagrin, Moishey gained a lot of weight. I asked his principal that all fattening foods please be banned from the dorm and if any of the guys are hungry in the evening they should get fruit.
The principal laid down the new rules.
He then got this text from Moishey (edited for brevity and clarity): Do you know what my plan will be? Really I don’t want to make you upset or mad at me, hayois that I am doing this to you. It’s that I just wanted to ask you a normal favor. Sometimes we see on people in today’s day that how many people really love to eat cake and how they are really enjoying to eat cake, but I am not saying it because I want to get you mad or angry but for you I really came up with ah gevaldiga brain storm. Okay, and I have to say it is because I myself do love you with all my Yiddishe heart. Okay, and please Rebbe, Rebbe, all I want is from you one thing and that is to be nice with me and be calm with me and please let us buy one more time cake – mezonos is for the Dorm, just for one more week, just like now this week and then by next week Imeyartz Hashem we will be buying fruits for the Dorm. Only by next week, okay Rebbe? I really and really love you but on one condition – please let me buy the cake one more time in the Dorm and then by next week we will buy fruits for the Dorm Imeyartz Hashem. Ohright! I Love You My Tiyera Rebbe.
Part 2: Covert Operation: Several weeks later, while home for the weekend, Moishey mentioned something about food at the dorm. I asked in mock exasperation, “There is ice cream and cake at the dorm?!?!” Moishey looked at me sheepishly and said, ‘No more.” When I played dumb and asked what changed, he said, “Rabbi Horowitz made new rules behind my back.”
Highway Patrol #10
I was driving home and someone beeped at me. Bina rolled down the window and yelled, “Don’t beep at my mother; it gets on her nerves. Don’t give her a nervous breakdown.”
Out of the Mouthes of Babes… #11
Chesky’s brother, Pinny, was learning one evening. Chesky turned to me and said, “Mommy, Pinny is a genius!”
Mevazeh Es Hamoadis #9
On Shabbos/Rosh Hashona morning I put Meir’s weekday shoes on for him, because they were right next to me and we were staying indoors anyways. Meir, age 4, looked at the shoes and started screaming, ‘Muktza! Muktza!”
Conditional Love: #1 – inside magazine
Moishey texted my husband that when his yeshiva comes to Williamsburg on Tuesday to prepare the Tomchei Shabbos packages, can my husband please take him over some magazines to their work site. He ended his text by stating, “I like you Tati”. My husband responded by asking/texting, “You like me, or you love me?” Moishey answered, “That we will see on Tuesday, if you bring me the magazines…”
The Real Deal #14
Five-year-old Chuni (typical child) was hesitant to wear his new down jacket because he thought only children with Down syndrome (his sister) can wear it.
Denial Syndrome #13
We told Bruchy, age 10, that she has Down syndrome. She became upset at everybody in the family and started telling them that they have Down syndrome, clown syndrome, and up syndrome, and she is EMPTY!!
Tznius Police: #15
8-year-old Shiyala was in the shower when his 3-year-old sister walked into the bathroom.
Shiyala started to holler at her, “S’nisht tznius! Go out! I’m counting till three; I say one, I say two and the last number is three – out now!!”
No Turning Back… Back Cover
Five-year-old Shia’la was directed by his physical therapist to walk an obstacle course. When he completed it, the therapist told him to walk it in the reverse. Shia’la said, “What is this? S’dom?”