A Glimpse into the Downs and Ups of Lucky Moms During Covid-19 Outbreak
The Lucky Moms text chat was created by and for mothers of children with Down syndrome, as a means to connect. It has been providing support, resources, information, inspiration and of course a touch of humor to each member’s day. The Lucky Moms group is helping many of us survive these tumultuous times. Following are excerpts of conversations from this time period.
Compiled by: Lucky Moms SH and TN
BC: Mommies, what are you doing with your little ones that have EI therapists coming to the house, as far as protection from corona?
AL: If you can, supply your own toys, and perhaps wear a mask if anyone shows any sign of illness
SL: We need to have Bitachon and be vigilant and do basic hishtadlus like hand washing, Purell…. Remember – the hype is paralyzing
AL: Right, be normal, don’t go overboard. Daven. Whatever you do is only hishtadlus
TN: And those of us who have kids with pulmonology issues or compromised immune systems need to be careful, but, key word is careful not crazy…
BC: That’s exactly what I was asking, where does careful end and crazy start??
NS: Quebec premier announced 2-week closure of all schools, daycares, education facilities, etc.… Starting Monday
March 15 – 12:20 PM
DX: Just got a call from KJ school district they r closing till March 30….
FT: With the kids inside! Don’t worry!! LOL!
TN: I wish they would close Brooklyn schools… I feel like I’m in limbo; it’s going to happen, we just don’t know when, and meanwhile should I just keep everyone home anyway? What’s the point of exposing them? Then again, who knows if they weren’t exposed last week….
DT: I asked my doctor about having therapists coming – especially now because my son being treated for bronchitis – he said I don’t have to cancel unless I’m too nervous… otherwise just take normal precautions
March 15th 5:40
NC: All NYC public schools closed until April 20, including the Bi-Y program
DP: Can anyone tell me how it works with a DS child off for 6 weeks? I’m afraid we’ll end up in the looney bin!!!
SS: YBL closing!!!:(
GL: Chany, we’ll share a room; I’m ready to check in
SS: GL – it’s just a bin, not a room.
DNT: Wow, people, its Yom Tov in Shushan! Can we all go out to celebrate?? This is historical! We are going back to ancient era. No schools, we will clean out our apartment the day before Pesach and voila! Pesach is here… no buses, no schedule, YAY, just serving food all day!
DP: I know that this chat is very pro keeping your kids home. But if this is what “home” means… Sorry but mine is up for adoption!!! LOL!
SS: All YBL’ers – know that Rabbi H is such a doll. He is trying his hardest to work something out, so that the Yeshiva can resume somewhat. He is working, working… always having the kids and parents in mind
DB: How can it be expected that our kids practice “social distancing”? Are they even capable of that?
GL: Mayor is saying until April 20 and maybe till end of school year.
SS: Yes! And we can’t even go on trips ‘n stuff because everything is closed.
VL: Eis Laasois closed
SMF: I told my kids to say Tehillim. They said they don’t want to have school… They are all dancing for joy!! We should learn from them! There is nothing to fear!! This is just an illusion… a test in Emunah!
HL: We lucky moms are truly lucky now! We get to hug our kids all day!
HT: No therapy for my baby for at least 2 weeks… curious to see if giving him a “break” and just do our own activities with him will show progress
II: And by the time school reopens everyone will be hesitant about sending back.
April 29th 6:55
SMF: Teachers, please close your eyes and ears while I get this rant out of my system. Fellow Moms, how much are you guys loving this schooling at home? The therapists calling all day… the zoom calls, the assignments etc. I’m ready to call it quits…! I actually love having my kids home… and we’re having the best times together… but bringing school inside my house is simply not working!! Is there anyone on here willing to join me in a school strike? I’m just done! Thank you for listening…. Wheeew… now I feel better 🙂
SI: I actually cried that we didn’t have it all our life. I love it, love it, that I even attempted to run away twice but was caught.
TN: It’s def not easy! if I allowed myself to go out, I would also have run away, and I feel like our responsibilities are so much more than usual.
SH: I was just telling myself B’H everyone healthy. I had to give myself chizuk after a whole day of sitting with E. and 3 live Morahs, 1 recorded Morah and davening with her, doing a bit of zippering practice, brushing, and my own added reading in English and Hebrew! I am pooped just reading back what I texted.
GL: Shhhh – I only cooperate if it works for me. No added pressure at this point. Life is giving us enough. I’m the boss. Sorry. I try my best and that’s it. I’m a tired mom.
SMJ: I agree. Y. is not interested; I feel very bad for all the teachers who are working so hard preparing.
TN: I just constantly try to remember that these therapists are not getting paid if they don’t do the sessions. So, I try…. But we usually don’t manage full 30-minute sessions
SMJ: And some mothers have a few young kids who they have to work with…someone told me her son’s cheder called that they will give cell phones and the parents should give a quiet room, she told the cheder please give me a quiet room…
SH: Our teachers really worked extremely hard putting together our curriculum from this week, thru May 19th. I really appreciate them despite what I wrote earlier.
TN: We all appreciate everything teachers are doing and, I hope most of them appreciate everything we are trying to do
GL: RH let me know before your next attempt. Maybe we can meet?
DT: I wanted to start just so my therapists get paid but felt it would be too stressful to add therapy into our very hectic day. It’s actually interesting to see how my little one is doing without the therapy!
HO: It is very hard on both me and my kids. I have 7 girls that need to be on the phone line.
SMJ: Oh. Wow! A real 1-room schoolhouse!
HO: Really, we should be getting paid some of the therapists’ money; we are actually doing it.
I need one of my girls to hold the phone for me while I do it. After 10-15 minutes R. is done!!! I am her mother I can’t get her to sit longer. I’m not going to let her cry.
SMF: My B. is actually thriving being home…. In all areas…. Without therapy. We’re doing activities together and playing… and I’ve realized how important being bored is for kids… after boredom comes creativity.
TN: Or screen time…. Don’t shoot me here…. My kids are definitely watching more than I’d like.
SMJ: My kids too. Nobody shooting anyone!
SMF: Screen time is definitely on the schedule… not every day but at designated times. And I don’t feel guilty at all. Hashem has provided us with everything we need to survive this time… and perhaps even thrive!
HO: I have a Kindergarten 1st , 3rd and 5th grader whose work I’m doing/supervising plus the regular everyday cooking, laundry… and therapy with R. I sat down to fold laundry 6 times today!
TN: What regular everyday stuff?!? No cleaning lady, everyone needs breakfast and lunch in addition to the usual supper, trying to work from home… And be a therapist! Unlike the typical therapist, I am now certified in PT, OT and speech…. We moms deserve the world.
SH: Yes TN, my resume is spectacular, in addition to all therapists and SI, add nurse, tutor, tailor, painter, poet, cook, baker, laundress, housekeeper, inventory keeper, dietician….
SMF: Hashem closed everything down…. The entire world … except the avoidah of a mother! Because He loves and cherishes what we do… The world cannot exist without us!!!! Pat yourself on your back…. and remember! We need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to continue giving! We are the real heroes!!
SH: Right. I just sat down for a few minutes and having a hard time getting up!!!
TN: Sometimes I wonder if I’m too busy patting myself on the back and rewarding myself with chocolate!!
NC: Guess what, I feel exactly the same way as you. But in my house, I (as a therapist) am trying to do therapy sessions on top of doing everything else, k”h with a full house. Honestly, my A’s therapists have been calling for weeks and we have yet to do one session for him. It’s lucky if we get on his classroom zoom for a few minutes a day. My motto is whatever works for me and the kids….
SMF: It’s really not about moms vs therapists, we are all trying our best… I think I just needed to vent and what better place to do it than to a group of moms that get it! I guess I just need to ease up about it and chill.
NC: Yes, Chill is a big word in our house these days, especially with a special child around…Even A. learned to say “chill” to his siblings.
DNT: Wow, can’t believe this lasted so long and only now after 6 weeks we are complaining!! Ladies pat yourself on the back! I hope D. and A. are working on a getaway!
SMJ: Yes. We’re planning to get away to Eretz Yisroel with the whole of Klal Yisroel.
FO: Zoom is the NEXT BEST thing in my 22-year-old son’s life! (BEST is attending Yeshiva Bonim Lamokom) He walks into his room to Zoom as if he’s walking into class; he smiles from ear to ear and is thrilled to see his teachers’ and friends’ faces participating on the screen. He probably cooperates better than all year because the class is mostly muted with no distractions. They hear the teacher communicating with only one student at a time! Zoom is a lifesaver here!
GL: Right. For older children it should work well. But for younger kids we need to be there, so it’s taking up lots of our time. Besides, pinning them down is a masechta for itself.
Sarah Sander: Ladies, this evening has been such a vocal time for all moms who are frustrated by our circumstances. Please put your thoughts and feelings down on paper and email them to be to be published.
TN: Just print this conversation out!!
Sarah Sander: C’mon you’re a panic
TN: Hopefully by July we can all laugh at it!
SH: Seriously Sarah, TN’s idea is intriguing! It could be an article!
SMJ: My Y. is officially doing speech and ot… Before every class he asks me when he can turn it off…. (I hope I’m not getting published)
TN: I’m rolling here…. That’s what my typically developing 12-year-old wants to know, “Ma, they took attendance, can I hang up now?”
HO: It’s all the (typical) kids, my 3rd grader calls in and puts the phone on speaker and proceeds to read a book.
SMJ: My (typical) 15 yr old puts the phone on speaker and reads a magazine
HO: They are all the same. All of our children – typical and delayed – are the same!!!
A Lesson in Bitachon from Lucky Moms
March 19th 8:10 PM
Ricka: So what are the mama’s doing to bring Moshiach today?
Rochel Laya: We’re breathing…
Rivka M.: And smiling 🙂
Ricka: Uh nice… but I’m not sure it works like that…
Rochel Laya: Definitely does!
Hindy: And cleaning and cooking and entertaining.
Reisy: Ricka, I finished sefer Tehillim and Mishlei and Chumash! LOL!
Rickel: And Thanking Hashem!
Reisy: Does that count? And I had a chavrusa with a choshuva Talmid Chochom
Ricka: Reisy, I knew we can count on you.
This chat was created less than a year ago, and currently has 143 members from across the US and Canada. If you would like to join, please contact DSAU for more information.